Super Embarassing

Posted on by Dave Woodruff

It took a bit of getting used to, but my costume is by far the coolest superhero costume around. It takes a seriously confident man to parade around in public in something as tight and form fitting as the modern superhero costume. There are a few who go with something less obvious and clingy, but who are they kidding?

I’m the first one here besides the Flash, that’s hardly a surprise, you’d expect a guy who can outrun anyone else to have a bit of a complex about arriving everywhere early. I order a Pimms and ginger ale, cool, but not enough to get me a buzz, especially if my services are required later. Within the hour bar becomes fairly filled. Batman arrives, sans Robin, he’s not yet old enough to drink. Captain America hangs his shield on the coat rack, Iron Man clanks his butt down on a stool, the Human Torch snuffs out his flames as he enters, always the consummate showman.

Pretty soon, the bar is full, Wolverine, the Thing, Thor, Mr Fantastic, I don’t see the Invisible Girl, but that might be by design. Cyclops, Storm and Nightwing are sitting in a booth behind me, Daredevil and Aquaman are playing Golden Tee. 

“He’s Coming... Everybody hide.” shouts the Silver Surfer. Hiding is really easy for the Invisible Girl, it’s kind of unfair. Most of us make no real attempt to hide, we just stand and wait a half circle around the door. To our chagrin, Superman enter through the back entrance.

“I could see you all waiting for me.” Damn that X-ray vision.

“Happy Birthday!!!!” We all shout, although he did spoil the surprise. We toast to his excellence and superiority, we buy him shots and so on. The party is in full swing, I’m even making a bit of progress with Batgirl when suddenly the bartender asks, “Whoever drives the Dodge minivan better move it quick, it’s getting towed.” Everyone looks around, I’m the only one who moves toward the door. Just as I’m getting ready to go outside and move my embarrassment, I hear Superman ask Batman, “Who is that guy anyway?” 

Batman responds, “I thought he was with Spiderman. 

I hope I can get the minivan started quick or I’m gonna be Black&BlueMan.