The Nicest Kid in the World

Posted on by Dave Woodruff

From Adrift 'Neath the Fingernail Moon

One day albert found an old bottle in the garage that his parents had stored away years before. In his youthful naïveté, he made the assumption that it was a bottle containing a genie and that if he were to free the genie, he would be bestowed three wishes. He uncorked the bottle. and although the genie was invisible and inaudible, Albert knew it was there nonetheless. The first though Albert has is that his Grandmother might come to visit and bring him a present. So that was wish number one. Shortly before bed that evening, Albert's mother and father surprised him with news that his Grandmother would be visiting in a few weeks. He was thrilled. Albert tried to imagine what she might bring him as a gift.

Albert went to bed that night trying to decide what his next two wishes would be. The first had turned out so well. He stared out the window across from his bed and saw at the moon which was just a sliver in the night sky. Albert had never really noticed the moon before. I told you he wasn't particularly observant. He really liked the way it looked, bright, glowing in the deep blue night sky. Although, it seemed somewhat partial and incomplete. It came quickly to him, His second wish, was that the moon was bigger.

Over the next several day Albert payed attention to the moon. And, amazingly, it grew bigger. Albert stared in amazement as the once fingernail fragment had become a nearly full circle in the sky. Complete with an almost distinguishable face. Albert had a pang of fear. What if it didn't stop? What if the moon continued getting bigger? If this kept going, it might cover the whole sky at night an nobody would be able sleep, and he would certainly get into a lot of trouble. That night, Albert made his third and final wish. He wished the moon would shrink.

Nights later Albert was relieved to see that the moon was returning to normal. All would return to normal soon. But it wasn't to be so. After the moon reached its fingernail sliver shape which it had been when it all started, it continued shrinking. Within three days it was completely gone. Albert was really scared now. Somehow he had made the moon leave completely. He hardly slept, he was so nervous. He couldn't make the moon come back, he was out of wishes. And tomorrow his Grandmother was arriving and he was sure she wouldn't give him a gift if she knew he had made the moon disappear. He had an idea.

The next morning Albert waited on the steps of the house for his Grandmother's arrival. After a very long time to a nine year old, he saw a yellow cab approaching down the street. He jumped to his feet and ran across the yard to apologize to his grandmother about making the moon disappear. The Yellow cab pulled to a stop on the opposite side of the street, and Albert dashed out to meet his grandmother, he meets the gleaming chrome of a passing Buick instead. Albert is killed instantly. I told you he was nice, But not terribly bright.